Wednesday, October 8, 2008

All new Excellent Injury Thursday!

I mentioned in one of my first posts about how awesomely I injure myself. Let me present to you exhibit "A" with a little back story of course.

It was always so sad to see the lesbian dogs' faces when we were getting the boat ready to take out. We never took them with us because......well.......they are unstable.

One weekend we decided to give it a shot. The girls jumped in the jeep with such enthusiasm it was heart warming.

When we got to the dock and launched the boat, the girls jumped right on from the dock. Maybe this was going to be a good thing!

Yeah, right. As soon as the boat started moving down the inlet, Skittish dog started to freak the fuck out. Before we knew it, she jumped over the side and disappeared.

Oilybeauhunk swung the boat around and tried to grab her. She went toward the seawall and disappeared again underneath a 40 foot boat that was docked there. She popped up again on the other side by the seawall that was covered in razor sharp oysters. One of the guys that worked at the marina saw the commotion and came and tried to help. As he was trying to grab her from the seawall OBH yelled at me to jump in after her. Now mind you, I can swim well enough to keep my head above water, but I am in no way a swimmer. When I got to Skittish dog, who kept disappearing under the water, she came at me and pushed me under. Not once, but twice. Now we were both in peril. What a mess. Finally she swam back toward our boat and OBH reached out with one arm and scooped her up. I was helped onto the docked boat by the marina guy.

Even though we were only 20 yards away from the launch ramp, I was ready to call it a day. OBH was having none of it. While all of this had been happening, the other dog, we'll call her Laid Back dog, was getting her sea legs, and digging walking around the deck of the boat, oblivious to the chaos around her.

We headed out toward the coastal islands, and spent a nice afternoon. Skittish dog finally relaxed enough so that it didn't look like her eyes were popping out of her head, but she never once stood up or left the bottom of the boat. Laid Back dog, however, was having a blast. We stopped near one of the beaches, threw anchor and jumped in. Laid Back dog, jumped right in after us and swam around with us. It was pretty cool. We'd put her back on the boat and she would run and jump off again and again. While she was having all this fun, Skittish dog sulked.

We decided to cut their first boating day a little short, and headed back to the marina. When we got there, the dogs were eyeing land like a sailor who has been at sea for a hundred days. We neared the dock and I stepped off the bow onto the dock. Sort of..................

I kinda missed. That picture is from three days later. I couldn't walk for two days. The bruising got much much worse after that. I had managed to separate the fatty tissue that resides between your skin and muscle, and push it up further on my thigh. "Kind of like a cheese grater" is how the orthopedic surgeon explained it. The point of impact, the yellowish area in the pic, is now a big indent and my skin rests directly on my muscle. It is still, two and a half years later, very sensitive.
There you have it, my first example of awesome injuries. There will be more. I am really good at it. Mind you, alcohol is pretty much always involved.


Sam said...

Holy crap that looks painful. I blame it all on Skittish Dog.

Momo Fali said...

Good night! That is the worst looking bruise I've ever seen! And, that's coming from a real klutz.

Slick said...

Geeeeeeezus girl!!

Holy....that looks painful.

You are pretty good at injuring yourself...

I score that a 10! :)