His first attempt at a lie....sort of

It's been cold here lately. I sent Zane to school with a sweatshirt. When we got home last night, he went straight to his PSP and I went straight to his back pack to check homework, etc.

me - "Zane, where is the sweatshirt you wore to school?"

Zane from the other room... "You can see it on the 'puter."

me - "What?"

Zane - "On the 'puter, at school, you can see pictures."

me - "What are you talking about? Where is your sweatshirt?"

Zane - "Problee on the 'puter, they have cameras at school and you can see pictures of stuff."

me - "So, you lost your sweatshirt?

Zane - "Yeah"

me - "Short answers work best, honey."

Zane - "Huh?"

me - "Never mind."



.

Good Lord you stubborn bastard...

So we got hooked on this show last year called Breaking Bad. If you didn't see it, you really missed out. It's on AMC and the website keeps saying that season 2 will be out in 2009. Originally it was supposed to air this coming Sunday. Apparently it has been delayed. The Oilybeauhunk insists that the damn show is on A&E, but people, let me assure you that it is on AMC. I even showed him the website and he is still in denial.

So anyway, it is all we are looking forward to, and now we have to wait.

It stars Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle fame, and believe you me, this character is much different..... (preview from last season)




Notice the "AMC" on the video? Yeah, NOT A&E!!! Anywrongchannel, the Oilybeauhunk and I are at an impasse about when this stupid awesome show is going to start - and obviously - what channel it will be on when it does.

Have any of you ever seen it? Are any of you fans? It is a g-r-e-a-t show! If you leave a comment, please remember to remind the Oilybeauhunk that AMC & A&E are two entirely different channels. :) okai thks

Of hairy boogers and good books

So I am reading this book called "The Gone-Away World" by Nick Harkaway. It is pretty cool, but a difficult read. This sentence stumped me:

"Mr. Clisp, the gambler, teaches us not only mathematics but also materialistic ethics, setting logic puzzles on the board which appear to be value-neutral but which, when resolved, condemn the vituperative harridan in ringing tones."

I read it out loud to the Oilybeauhunk.

OBH - "I know what it means, but I'm not going to tell you."

Me - "Oh really?"

OBH - "Duh, vituperative means nose picking."

Me - "OK?"

OBH - "And harridan is hairy boogers - so duh (sticking finger in nose) vituperative - (flicking finger out) harridan. Picking hairy boogers."

Me - shrugs shoulders and walks away.

The Egg Timer

Lately, the Great White Lizard Hunter's life is measured only in minutes.

If I tell him we have to leave - "How many minutes?"

If I tell him to get dressed - "How many minutes?"

If I tell him I am cooking dinner - "How many minutes?"

If he goes in the bathroom to take a shit - "Mom, watch the clock tell me how many minutes."


This is never ending. I am tired of the minute game. It doesn't matter how many minutes I tell him, he doesn't have a watch or a clock - not to mention - he doesn't know how to read one anyway!!!


How many more minutes 'til Friday?

How many more minutes 'til Spongebob?

How many minutes is 120 minutes?


Good God. The other day at the grocery store I spotted a cool, red, magnetic egg timer. A light bulb went on above my head. Problem solved.


It seems to be working. I set the timer, put it in his room and tell him how many minutes he has, and explain that when the buzzer goes off - time's up. This morning I didn't have to tell him to finish his breakfast 6 times, and I didn't have to tell him to get his friggin clothes on 12 times. We may be on to something here.


The only problem so far came last night when I was cooking dinner, and I misjudged by more than 10 minutes when it would be done. He had set his timer based on how long I told him until it was ready. Every time I turned around, there he was with a shit-eating grin and that damned timer in his hand. "Mom, the timer says it should be done."