Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Six signs I am failing as a mother...

It is becoming clear that I am lacking in my motherly skills to my just recently turned 7 year old boy. I am coming to this conclusion as evidenced by the following:


1. The Zanester has a new morning routine. It involves burping the alphabet, and then taking a bow, followed by a fart.

2. He has been on a steady diet for two weeks, eating only one of the following two items; Chef-Boy-R-Dee spaghettios with meatballs, or ravioli with meatballs. That is it.

3. He has begun to proclaim how much things "suck". Such as, "I don't want to play my game anymore, I'm sucking." Or while watching American Idol during tryouts, with the awful people, he would calmly announce that "She/he sucks."

4. When the dogs do something stupid, he proclaims that they are "an ass".

(side note, at least he isn't combining them and saying "SuckAss")

5. He doesn't/can't grasp the concept of washing his hands before he eats because, dude, your nails are black.

6. And finally, this morning, I watched in horror as he pulled a dirty ball of wax out of his ear, closely inspected it, and.Then.Put.It.Back.In.His.Ear....

Where did I go wrong?


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5 comments:

Gypsy said...

#1 sounds like my 32-year-old fiancé.

kaila said...

Zane gets it from the 42 year old Oilybeauhunk...maybe #1 isn't my fault... :)

bsouth said...

Tee-hee! I think you're doing a great job. My children aren't anywhere near talented enough to burp the alphabet and the only food they'll eat is cereal and sausages.

mistressmom said...

Ya know, as corny as this might sound, I think your list is endearing. It makes me wish my due date was that much sooner!

Momo Fali said...

Uh oh. You know it's only going to get worse as he gets older, right?