Mystery solved! It's EYEBALLS!!!!!

So some of you might remember this post which may or may not have been too much information, but people this is some funny shit.

The Zanester was getting out of the shower the other night, and out of nowhere offered up some very important information.

"Do you know why it takes me so long to poop sometimes?"

"No, honey, I don't"

"They Bodder me."

"What bodders you honey?"

"Eyeballs"

he points to the floor where this sits



(sidebar - there is no cute little fluffy puppy in our bathroom)

"No problem, honey" I said, and threw the toilet paper under the sink.

"Now you should be fine."

"Nope." and he points to the area between the toilet and the sink cabinet....



(Eyeballs, people, eyeballs)

So I throw that under the sink as well.

"Well that should be it, right?"

"Nope." (and he points to the sink)



Yeah, that's right, he has a Spongebob Toothbrush....with eyeballs.

So we turn that around, and move the damn Dr. Seuss toothpaste to the side as well...because, well eyeballs



The pooping process has been much faster since then. Weird right? I know. But the EYEBALLS!!!! They BODDER him!!!

Did any of you feel like you were being watched when you were seven years old? Is this normal?


.

He's a slow pooper.......

The Great White Lizard Hunter has a love/hate relationship with poop. He loves to make poop jokes. Don't even get me started on farting..... He often steps in dog poop in the yard, and then gets to play with the hose to wash off said poop.

He doesn't like to actually go poop.

This kid will hold it for ever, and then he will be in the bathroom for upwards of 45 minutes.

The neighbor kids were over a couple of weeks ago and suddenly the GWLH disappeared into the bathroom. Thirty minutes later neighbor boy asks what is going on.

"He's pooping" I say.

"He's a slow pooper." neighbor boy says - then runs to the bathroom door and yells
"You're a slow pooper, GWLH!"

Laughter ensues and he eventually comes out.

Fast forward a week and we are on our way to the Miami Dolphins game with the neighbor kids parents. The GWLH is spending the weekend with his Grandma who was down visiting from Illinois.

We were joking about the "slow pooper" comment that their son made when my cell phone rang - it was Grandma.

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, um, the GWLH has been in the bathroom for about half an hour, do I need to be worried?"

I almost dropped the phone from laughter -

"No, mom, he's just a slow pooper"

"Oh, OK, have fun at the game."

Ain't Got Time For The Pain

Dear Internet People,
I have like 30 drafts sitting here, but things are hectic now, and I can't bear to go and proofread one so I leave you with this: One of the best days I've had in awhile!!!!!!!! and, and.....it leads to the next one which I promise will be funny!
































Coming next: "The Slow Pooper"
Believe it or not it ties in to this post, albeit in a slightly obscure way, but it is sure to make you chuckle.